Marital Mediation Works

From Behind the Glass: Mandatory Family Law Mediation (5/16/13)
Amanda Fletcher
This article sets out a plan of attack for how an attorney can effectively advocate for their client in a mandatory family law mediation setting where the attorney is excluded from the mediation session.

Mediation Case Law Video: Enforcing Oral Mediation Settlement Agreement (5/13/13)
James Coben
In the case Ledbetter v Ledbetter, the appellate court considered the issue of whether parties to a divorce mediation should be bound to a settlement orally dictated by the mediator and affirmed by parties and their counsel at mediation, which was later repudiated by one of the parties.

The Gray Divorce (5/03/13)
Denise Tamir
Though the fact that divorce has become more common and less of a stigma has some impact, that does not explain why the gray divorce rate is climbing while the general divorce rate is going down. Denise Tamir suggests a few contributing factors.

10 Helpful Tips for Mediating Child Related Issues (5/03/13)
Lisa Nelson
The article provides helpful tips and considerations for parents to address in divorce mediation when minor children are involved. There are specific considerations that parents need to be made aware of before they enter the mediation process with children.

I'm Heading for Divorce. How do I Start? (4/26/13)
Rachel Virk
This article walks through the divorce process for someone who is just beginning to consider a divorce. It gives a practical guide for people to navigate through the process without an emotional roller coaster.

New Perspective on Domestic Violence and Mediation in Montana (4/26/13)
Mary Novak
The original Montana provisions for family court mediation, enacted in 1993, attempted to shield abuse survivors from attending mediation with their abusers. This reflected a national focus on the issue at the time. Section 40-4-301 of the Montana Code Annotated allowed courts to require any parties to participate in family law mediation. However, it made an exception for domestic violence.

Mediation Case Law Video: Divorce Agreement Complications (4/25/13)
James Coben
In Guthrie v. Guthrie, the validity of a divorce agreement was called into question due to one party's state of mind at the signing. A complicating issue was husband's death during the proceedings.

Preparing for Mediation: A Practical Guide to Mediator Selection (4/22/13)
Greg Stone
Greg Stone's latest book Preparing for Mediation: A Practical Guide provides straight-forward tips for mediators. This excerpt from his book discusses considerations for selecting mediators. It also suggests ways for mediators to allow their clients to save face while making progress in the mediation.

Is Collaborative Law Worth the Cost? (4/22/13)
Dick Price
For people facing divorce, a common question is whether Collaborative cases are "cheaper than litigation". While there is no way to compare a specific Collaborative case to an abstract idea of a litigated case, we can say that Collaborative Law will avoid a lot of the expense involved in litigation.

AudioBlog: Transforming Difficult Decision Making In Elder Care Planning (4/22/13)
Patricia Porter
Families today are assuming responsibility for the informal care of over 75 percent of elderly family members and are often faced with difficult decisions from a bewildering array of choices: e.g. estate planning, financial issues, and guardianship. In the best of circumstances, this can be a stressful process and sometimes leads to disagreements, confusion, and conflict at a time when the best intentions of the family are to work together for the needs of a loved and respected aging family member.

5 Effective Ways to Focus on What’s Important in Relationship Conflict (4/22/13)
Tammy Lenski
How do you decide how much of a relationship conflict’s flotsam is worth pursuing? How do you focus on the important matters in a relationship conflict and not get sidetracked by trivial ones?

Signing Arbitration Contracts on Admission to a Nursing Home – Who Is Bound? (4/08/13)
Richard Birke
As our population ages, more and more people are being admitted to nursing homes at or near the end of their lives. But when a person is admitted to a nursing home and they sign a contract agreeing to arbitrate any disputes arising out of the care they receive, should their heirs and the estate be bound by that contract?

Facing a Divorce Later in Life? (3/29/13)
Dick Price
It has become noticeable that Baby Boomers and even older people are starting to experience a significant number of divorces. Couples married for 20 to 40 years are getting divorced.

AudioBlog: Elder Mediation: Family Disputes Over Caregiving (3/29/13)
Patricia Porter
When families are faced with the long-term care arrangements for their aging parents and relatives, feelings of resentment, anger and jealousy that have festered since childhood often create new problems as families learn to cope and prepare for the road ahead. Instead of working together, families can get stuck placing blame.

Mediation Case Law Video: Enforcing Old Agreements (3/28/13)
James Coben
In Buckley v. Shealy, the appellate court decided to not to enforce a mediated divorce settlement, when the agreement is over a decade old and was never submitted to the court.

Steubenville Tragedy Needs Effective Communication (3/25/13)
William Hymes
The divisiveness and acrimony that played out in this past fall's trial of two lacrosse players that sexually assaulted an intoxicated young lady is playing out again in Northeastern Ohio in a similar way. Because of the adversarial nature of the judicial process this has been traumatic for everyone involved, including the victim, the rapists, their friends and families the community at large and even the CNN correspondent covering the trial. The only hope of dealing and restoring the fabric of the community is a restorative intervention, which may also be useful in developing a program of prevention.

On Spin Cycle (3/15/13)
Vivian Scott
Here we go; round and round. That’s the sound of the all-too-familiar family whirlpool in which one person (usually the woman) asks that a chore get done and the other person (usually a man) seems agreeable but never quite gets it done. She starts tip-toeing around the subject, he avoids it, she gets louder, he acts like she’s a nag, and now they’re on spin cycle with no forward progress in sight.

Five Tips to Let Go and Forgive after a Break-Up (3/15/13)
Lorraine Segal
Learning how to let go and forgive helped me a lot after two “break-ups.” Neither of these was with a spouse or romantic partner, but they were deep and difficult and painful nonetheless.

Informative Mediation -- A New Model for Tough Economic Times (Part 2) (3/01/13)
Rachel Virk
Not everyone distrusts or has reason to distrust his or her spouse in a divorce.  Not everyone needs an advocate to actively and adversarially negotiate, but instead can use the attorney in his or her corner for advice, for information and for document reviews.  Not everyone needs to pay for a two-attorney collaborative process. How can a divorce attorney best serve this market?  The answer may be the process of "Informative Mediation," described in this two-part article.

The Perfect Mediation (humor video) (2/27/13)
Chip Rose
The Perfect Mediation is a 4 minute video showing how easy mediation can sometimes be. Be sure to to check out all of our continuing education offerings at Mediate.com University.

Informative Mediation -- A New Model for Tough Economic Times (Part 1) (2/22/13)
Rachel Virk
Not everyone distrusts or has reason to distrust his or her spouse in a divorce.  Not everyone needs an advocate to actively and adversarially negotiate, but instead can use the attorney in his or her corner for advice, for information and for document reviews.  Not everyone needs to pay for a two-attorney collaborative process. How can a divorce attorney best serve this market?  The answer may be the process of "Informative Mediation," described in this two-part article.

A Survey of Public Awareness of Elder Mediation In Northeast and Central Ohio (2/15/13)
John Bertschler, Patricia Bertschler
As private practitioners in the field of mediation over the past fifteen years, we have struggled along with our professional colleagues nationwide to increase public awareness of alternative dispute resolution, particularly mediation. We have been gratified to see awareness grow due to the work of many individuals and professional advocacy groups, as evidenced by this survey.

The Dangers of Badmouthing Your Ex To The Kids (2/08/13)
Jeff Murphy
Getting a divorce is tough on any couple, but it’s even tougher on the kids. Think about them when you’re tempted to bad mouth your ex. The outcome may be very different from the one you planned.

Resolving Pressing Issues in Divorce Mediation (video) (2/06/13)
James Melamed
This video on resolving pressing issues at the beginning a divorce mediation is from Jim Melamed's 15-hour "Mediating Divorce Agreement" course available at Mediate.com University.

Four Keys to Successfully Mediating Temporary Orders in a Divorce Case (1/25/13)
Scott Morgan
This article offers tips from a practicing divorce attorney on how to effectively mediate temporary orders terms in a divorce case. Scott Morgan offers his thoughts on how to prepare the case for mediation, necessary preparation of the client for mediation, how to negotiate terms intelligently, and the proper mindset the attorney should have.

How to Start a Collaborative Divorce (1/25/13)
Dick Price
Since Collaborative Law is still relatively new, many people may feel unsure about how to start the process. It's actually very simple.

Ten Commandments of Divorce (1/18/13)
Donna Martini
This article is an excerpt from the book, Ten Commandments of Divorce. This article encourages people going through a divorce to take the time to move slowly, act with respect, and create a safe space for their children.

Special Needs Education Dispute Resolution (1/18/13)
Sherri Donovan
Caring for a special needs child involves an often overwhelming lifelong commitment that introduces an added strain to the parents’ own relationship, which can increase the likelihood of divorce. Mediation can be especially valuable to divorcing parents of a special needs child—both during and after the divorce process itself. This articles helps parents to discuss special considerations for themselves and their children.

Family Basics and Divorce Mediation - Video (1/14/13)
Gabriel Cheong, Esq.
Divorce and Family Mediation Basics Video. This is a question and answer video that tries to answer all of the basic divorce questions.

25 Prenuptual Questions (1/11/13)
Kenneth Cloke
Ken Cloke suggests 25 prenuptual questions that are helpful for couples mediation. These questions are designed more to facilitate a strong marriage than a smooth divorce.

Can Divorce Mediation Be Used in All Circumstances? (1/11/13)
Lisa Nelson
The article describes three situations where divorce mediation is not likely to be effective, and why.

On Weathering Marriage Communication Style Differences (1/11/13)
Tammy Lenski
Marriages can successfully weather significant communication style differences. It helps to set the foundation for success early, but if that boat’s already sailed, fear not — you can still change its direction.

What are the Biggest Mistakes Divorced Parents Make? (1/11/13)
Lorraine Segal
While parents are divorcing and after they are divorced, they are often overwhelmed by all the changes in their lives. They may be filled with guilt, blame, rage, or grief. Though they, of course, love their children, it may be a huge challenge to manage emotions and conflict with their ex in a way that helps their children move through the changes and feel loved and secure.

Reducing Stress Through Divorce Mediation (1/04/13)
Nancy Tran
This article discusses the ways in which mediation can help to reduce the stress that couples undergoing divorce may experience. By creating a cooperative atmosphere, reducing the time that divorce proceedings take, and lessening the financial burden of a divorce, mediated divorce may be the perfect solution for couples looking to amicably end their marriage.

Tips for Better Communication During a Divorce (1/04/13)
Dick Price
In any divorce, things get heated occasionally (or more often). In Collaborative divorces, the parties can still feel considerable stress. It is an emotional experience. Sometimes, parties will react emotionally, in anger, and that is regrettable. Here are some quick tips to help maintain a constructive relationship between the parties.

Family Business Conflict: Flexible Solutions (12/21/12)
Karen LaRose
In a family business conflict, relationships are embedded in a system of family dynamics and a business system. It is impossible to separate the two components: familial relationships and business relationships. One informs the other in a circular fashion. This article discusses the correct mediation approach to working with the two systems.

Five Steps Divorced Parents Can Take to Cool Down Holiday Conflict (12/21/12)
Lorraine Segal
We all have idealized images of the holiday season–perfect gifts and the warm glow of togetherness. But the gap between expectations and reality can be huge when parents are recently divorced, and grief, anger, and bitterness can intensify holiday stress.

"I'm Sorry You Feel Like That . . ." (12/21/12)
Michael Jacobs
People often expect an apology in mediation. What they get is sometimes true repentance, and sometimes an insult disguised an apology. This articles helps mediators spot the difference between the two and to guide parties from escalating a conflict to forgiveness.

Sandy Hook: A Time for Change (12/17/12)
Cherise Hairston
This is a reprint of a notice that was sent to community mediators: I was moved to write something and do something regarding the tragic loss of life at Sandy Hook Elementary School. My aim in this e-mail is to reach out because to those who understand the importance of our work. We must not give up increasing awareness about community mediation and the need to support our work. I do not aim to preach or judge but to express the sorrow I feel and the frustration of the missed opportunity to support the work of community mediators who day in and day out help reduce conflict and violence in our community. Please eaccept this expression from that place of concern and love for the well-being of our human family/community that weights heavy on my heart…

Tips for Dealing with Family Conflict During the Holidays (12/14/12)
Alexandria Skinner
Alexandria Skinner has put together a useful list of suggestions for avoiding and neutralizing family conflict during holiday gatherings, roughly framed in terms of the general principles of interest based negotiation.